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Beware of the Unconscious People in your Life!

As I  have been focusing on raising my Consciousness and journeying through my life, I have noticed that not all people live by the same moral, ethical code and value system. This impacts how they live and the principles that govern their behaviour. However,  there are a few that unconscious people have in common. Unconscious people are easy to identify as they are the energy drainers in your life.

 

1. Unconscious people can’t understand why not keeping a promise is lying!

It’s better for your sanity to accept this and move on. You cannot change their level of consciousness but you can choose not to sink to their level. Trying to make them see this is a pointless endeavour that will drain your energy and dim your light.

 

2. Unconscious People will never apologise even when they are in the wrong.

If you are waiting for someone who who hurt you to realise this and make amends, the wait will be an eternity. They can only see things from their perspective and from their  point of view, they did nothing wrong. So for your own emotional and mental health, just let it go.

This does not make it right and it’s not easy to do but a key component in your rising as a conscious person.

3. Unconscious people fixate on your flaws and mistakes and are unable to see their own.

This means that they are always harping on about your behaviours and actions. As a result, this distracts them from looking at and focusing on their own. It can a be very effective way of avoiding looking inward at where they need to grow as a person. It’s up to you to realise this and not waste valuable energy on trying to get them to see their flaws and mistakes. This is your lesson and growth to take away from this experience!

4. Unconscious people choose to play the victim and martyr no matter what the situation, making you the bad guy and villain.

In any given situation, there are three roles : Victim/Martyr, Perpetrator & Rescuer (Drama Triangle). When it comes to the unconscious person, they perceive themself as the victim even when they are the one inflicting the pain (Perpetrator). Sometimes they even delude themselves to believe that they are the Rescuer and you owe them eternal gratitude. The rest of us shuffle between Perpetrator or Rescuer in their chaotic lives because we are good and kind people. To save yourself, just step out of the triangle and their drama and be none of those roles. Take your power back, preserve your Energy for your own life and it’s challenges!

 

5. Unconscious people exploit your kindness, generosity and loving heart to their own ends, leaving you hurt, empty and betrayed!

If you have a giving heart, do not assume that those around you have the same. Unconscious people will take and take and make endless promises to give when you are in need but never deliver. Most of the time, it’s their betrayal and lack of integrity that’s more hurtful and not their inability to be there for you when you need them.

 

The point of this blog post is to understand when people trigger you, where it may be coming from. This does mean that you are innocent and not a contributor to the situation, but taking ownership of your part, this is how you raise your Consciousness. At the end of the day, that is all each one of us can actually do. I am not all zen and 100% conscious all the time. I am however more open to identify when I am in Unconscious mode and this is when I use it as another way to grow myself.

Just remember :

You cannot change another person’s level of Consciousness, only your OWN!

  Shenaaz Moos   May 10, 2018   Uncategorized   1 Comment Read More

SMACKING IS ILLEGAL, ITS TIME TO BECOME A CONSCIOUS PARENT!

Conscious Parenting provides an alternative to smacking your child, which has now become illegal in South Africa.  Judge Raylene Keightley passed the ground-breaking ruling in the Gauteng High Court  in October 2017 encouraging parents to find alternative methods of discipline.

Conscious Parenting advocates gentle positive discipline that sees the child as an individual. According to Dr Shefali Tsabary (Author of The Conscious Parent) A Conscious Parent is not one who seeks to fix her child or seek to produce the perfect child. This is not about Perfection! A conscious parent understands that this journey has been undertaken and this child had been called forth to raise the parent itself, to show the parent where the parent has yet to grow. This is why we call our children into our lives. It may seem a daunting task to confront the self, but this is the portal to your authenticity.  (more…)

  Shenaaz Moos   Dec 31, 2017   Authenticity, Conscious Parenting, Family   0 Comment Read More

POTHOLES AND CRACKED IPHONES

You are probably wandering what potholes and cracked phone screens have in common. They are both imperfections and are very much in your face. Once I noticed one pothole in my road, the others just became visible and every time I left my house they taunted me. I was forced to endure a cracked phone for a month and was a true test of my evolution as a recovering perfectionist.

The general definition by WIKI is “Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unobtainable goals, and measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishment. Pressuring oneself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets the person up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards.”

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  Shenaaz Moos   Oct 22, 2017   Conscious Parenting, Family, Perfectionism   0 Comment Read More

Subject Choice is Not Life Choice

My 15 year old daughter is in grade 9 and we attended her Subject Choice meeting the other night. As I looked around the hall, parents were holding their breathe in fear and children were anxiously scanning the room for comfort. All the parents were listening attentively to the guest speaker about the different academic streams open to specific subject choices.

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  Shenaaz Moos   Aug 26, 2017   Conscious Parenting, Emotionally Connecting   0 Comment Read More

IS IT TOO LATE TO SAY SORRY?

The answer is No, it’s never too late to say sorry. I know it is a Justin Bieber song but also the title of this blog post which I felt was an important one to share.  I wish I had the knowledge I have now when my teens were younger, but unfortunately ten years ago I didn’t and as a result made many, many and many more mistakes as a parent. When we parent from an unconscious place, we have no road map providing us with guidance to ensure that we don’t harm, scar and damage our children in our effort to raise balanced healthy adults one day. I can only forgive myself and try to do better with the knowledge I have in the present moment.

 

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  Shenaaz Moos   Mar 16, 2017   Conscious Parenting, Emotionally Connecting, Family   0 Comment Read More

‘Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got (Gary Chapman) Book Review

When I was faced with many clients struggling with marital issues I knew that I needed to read or listen to this book on my reading list. Not only did I gain knowledge for them but learnt a thing or two to help me in my own marriage. As young married people we enter into a marriage from a place of blissful ignorance thinking love will get us through any challenge. Until a life stressor like job loss, illness, death of a family member or child shakes our foundation to the core.

Gary Chapman writes a relatable and humorous book with all his own real life marriage mistakes that just makes the content concrete. There are twelve chapters and each enlightened me further into the many reasons why marriages can fail and crumble very early on in the union. I will list them all and give you my the lesson I took away.

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  Shenaaz Moos   Feb 08, 2017   Book Reviews, Emotionally Connecting, Family   2 Comments Read More

How Teachers Impact Self Esteem of A Child

My youngest son (9) came  home from school distressed twice last week, but wouldn’t say why. When he was ready to share the reason I almost went into overprotective mommy mode. His teacher had negatively commented  on his handwriting once and used his ‘cursive’ as the bad example the second time. His anxious temperament needs critical feedback to be given in a nurturing, positive way and in private. He told me he cried in the bathroom and had been clenching his fists in class in anger.

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  Shenaaz Moos   Jan 25, 2017   Emotionally Connecting, Family, Self Esteem   0 Comment Read More