Whole Hearted Living

5 SENSES OF AUTHENTICITY

5 SENSES OF AUTHENTICITY by Shenaaz Moos

 

I finally had a chance on Saturday 15 December 2018 to do the talk on Authenticity that I had been wanting to do for the longest while. The strangest thing was that when I first started promoting it, there was a luke warm response. When I said I was thinking about doing another workshop on “How not to give a F**k” everyone went crazy. What people didn’t realise was that this is exactly what Authenticity was. Choosing to live your life the way you want and in a way that serves your desires, while being true to who you are. 

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we actually are.”

—Brené Brown

It is a buzz word at the moment and everyone wants to be authentic, they say that they are but have not done the cleaning up of their inner landscape to get there. Their mind and thoughts are still plagued with what other people think of them, they are still trapped in the never ending cycle of people pleasing. They feel empty, unhappy, exhausted and miserable; this is not what authentic living feels like. 

On my journey to Authenticity these are the senses I discovered are vital:

  1. A Sense Of Self
  2. A Sense Of Worth & Value 
  3. A Sense Of Purpose 
  4. A Sense Of Boundaries 
  5. A Sense Of Humour

1. A Sense Of Self is knowing, liking, accepting and loving yourself.

This Sense is where it all begins, taking the journey inward to get to you know yourself again. You may be living a life that’s a lie, wearing your hair in a way that your husband likes, wearing clothes that your mother said flatter you and so much more. Deep down you hate both but can’t remember what you actually like. Why? From the earliest age  of compression in your childhood, you wanted to please those around you for love and acceptance. So you chose things that made their face light up even if it was not what you liked or wanted. You have been doing it for so long that you forgot your own likes and dislikes. When you reconnect with your inner child, you will remember the colours, food and places that filled your heart and soul with joy. Go here, stay here, live here! A Sense Of Worth & Value is valuing yourself, your time, your energy, your love and knowing what you are deserving of.

2. A Sense Of Worth & Value is valuing yourself, your time, your energy, your love and knowing what you are deserving of.

The second Sense can only exist once your sense of self is in place. Why? In order to value yourself, you have to like yourself. To you know your worth as a person means you see yourself as someone who matters, who has something unique to offer the world. Your money, appearance and education do not determine your worth, only you do! You only think it does because of the superficial world we live in and the conditioning of society reinforces this everyday by putting physical beauty on a pedestal. Social media also plays a role by people sharing all that they achieve (some exaggerated) making you feel inadequate when you compare yourself. STOP! You are enough as you are! Anything you want to change or add must be for the right reasons, that it’s for your own growth, your own spiritual alignment. Never in comparison and never in competition, only for completion! 

3. A Sense Of Purpose is living a life that has meaning and, living your passion while making a difference.

You can have all the money in the world, or have the highest paid job and still feel EMPTY. Why? You are living a life that may have no meaning, no purpose but to make money for money’s sake. This will lead you to buy more things you don’t need and desire more things in a never ending effort to fill the empty void inside yourself. Step off this ‘hamster wheel’ and choose a different path. Reconnecting with  your true self aligns you with your purpose. Have the courage to follow where it leads and you will be blessed with absolute joy and abundance. Not of the financial kind, but the spiritual one! What bliss! 

4. A Sense Of Boundaries is knowing what you will tolerate from others in terms of respect and keeping negative destructive people at a distance. 

If you could draw a magical circle around yourself and include all your favourite things and people, would you? This is a boundary and it is absolutely necessary and usually absent in many people’s lives. Outside the circle are the people and things that drain your energy, exploit you and abuse your emotional support. I know it’s not this simplistic, but I want you all to understand the purpose of a boundary. Others won’t automatically respect your rights, give you credit or keep their negativity away. You have to demand it, for your sanity! Authentic people do this without guilt or remorse as we know what we lose when we allow our boundaries to drop. Start drawing your circle today! 

5. A Sense Of Humour is what makes life fun, reminding you not to take yourself, others and life too seriously and most importantly to laugh often. 

Too many people take themselves so seriously that they get stuck when they make a mistake, forget something, don’t win at something or are not the best. When was the last time you truly laughed with abandon? When was the last time you laughed at yourself? If you answered : never, too long ago or I can’t remember; then you have been missing out on the joy that life has to offer. Having this Sense helps you in ways you cannot imagine and so many people think a sense of humour is childish or for children. This is so far from the truth, children are in their authentic state and that is why it’s so natural and easy for them. We should watch them and learn how to have fun and live in the moment! Fear, stress and anxiety are often managed better or beaten with a good sense of humour. Go and find yours! 

5 Senses of Authenticity

I hope when they left the workshop they gained more knowledge on how to stop people pleasing and not give a f**k! Here are some problems with people pleasing:
1) It’s impossible to please everyone.
2) You lose your sense of self .
3) Your worth is tied to pleasing others & fear rejection if you stop. 
4) You say “Yes” when you really mean “No” & feel pressured by others.
5) Your needs come last, because you put everyone’s needs first. 
6) You become resentful when your needs aren’t met, you deserve attention, love and respect too.

Problems with people pleasing

There are many ways to become authentic, I have shared my journey there with you. It does not mean it’s the path you will take to get there and no one can say when you will arrive. To be honest, there is no arriving, it has no time line but is a continuous journey. I cannot begin to describe the gifts you will receive along the way there, all I can say is that life will never be boring or monotonous. Living authentically frees up your day to have energy to do what you love with those you love. Your days are filled with joy and gratitude and you radiate light, love and positivity. This makes life bright, colourful and fun! 

  Shenaaz Moos   Dec 20, 2018   Authenticity, Consciousness, True Self, Whole Hearted Living   0 Comment Read More

WHY DO I NEED SELF CARE?

WHY DO I NEED SELF CARE?

By Shenaaz Moos

Last month, I went to the hairdresser the day before Eid as a treat to myself. As I was paying, I said to the receptionist that I will be adding this to my self-care routine and she looked puzzled and asked “What’s that?” So I proceeded to explain that : Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. (Psychcentral) She inspired me to post the self care principles listed below as I realised so many people out there may not what self-care is and why they need it . 

 

 

 

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  Shenaaz Moos   Jul 26, 2018   Authenticity, Consciousness, Family, SELF CARE, Whole Hearted Living   0 Comment Read More

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO YOUR TRUE SELF, YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO YOUR TRUE SELF, YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!

by Shenaaz Moos

As a counsellor I see many clients who are lost, adrift in life and simply just living day to day in a monotonous loop. Joy, fun laughter and love seems to have left their daily landscape. They are so unhappy despite all the external successes they have achieved; the  wonderful spouse, the new car, the great job, the stunning house, but they still feel empty. WHY? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. Here is some of the steps to guide you to understand and make the changes needed to find your way back.

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  Shenaaz Moos   Jun 26, 2018   Authenticity, Consciousness, Self Esteem, True Self, Whole Hearted Living   2 Comments Read More

I WAS ALWAYS AUTHENTIC, NOT RUDE!  

When I was growing up, I was the child who was considered rude, cheeky and outspoken. This label stuck with me throughout my life, making me feel different, but never less than anyone else. I was lucky and the reason for this was my amazing dad who nurtured my self- esteem with his love and parenting and gave me the armour to withstand criticism. Now in my 40’s, I have the insight and wisdom to understand that I was always Authentic, which is why I never fit in and was out of sync with the world. Speaking my mind, being true to myself, having principles and standing up for myself was who I was.

 

When I read Brene Brown’s book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection,’ I realised that my Authentic self was compromised by my Perfectionist self and in order to completely embrace my authenticity, I had to confront the aspects of myself that I didn’t like but needed to accept. The challenge was to figure out if society is still dictating to me, or to trust and follow my inner compass.

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  Shenaaz Moos   Nov 16, 2016   Authenticity, Conscious Parenting, Whole Hearted Living   2 Comments Read More

The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Once I discovered that perfectionism was the root of a lot of my anger I did what I always do I found a book on how to help me deal with. The book that I came across was ‘The Gift of Imperfection’ by Brene Brown and I thought WOW that sounds like an awesome book so I downloaded the audiobook and haven’t looked back since. I finished it months ago but never got around to writing the review. There were so many elements that truly touched my soul, made me begin to understand the root of my Perfectionism. The irony is that my own remnants as a recovering Perfectionist stopped me from sitting down and sharing this amazing book with you. So I decided to share my own insights combined with others who reviewed the book.

Brene’s key idea is Wholehearted Living which is knowing that you are enough as you are, not when you lose weight or get your degree but now in the present moment. So many of us are putting off loving ourselves because of our to do list, which is never ending. Brene is a researcher and when she interviewed people who lived Wholeheartedly she found they did something unique, DIG Deep: (more…)

  Shenaaz Moos   Nov 05, 2016   Book Reviews, Family, Whole Hearted Living   0 Comment Read More

HELP ! Am I Addicted to LIKES?

 

How many of us check our Facebook updates all the time or Instagram to see who likes our photos or the moment somebody makes a comment, we are dying to see what they say so we can respond back?

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I became aware of this problem when my daughter deleted a photo of her herself on Instagram because it didn’t get enough likes within the first hour of posting it. After that I started monitoring my own behaviour on social media, I realised that I had the same tendency to always complain about the number of likes or the lack of comments when I posted things either on my personal page or on my professional page. Did I model it to her? This was troubling! (more…)

  Shenaaz Moos   Oct 13, 2016   Whole Hearted Living   0 Comment Read More