I was so pleased when they invited back to the Expresso Morning Show, once again to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart – Perfectionism. I am a recovered Perfectionist, and still working on so many layers of awareness where this is concerned. I thought anger was my problem but once I started […]
Expresso Morning Show : Teaching Your Child to Share With Shenaaz Moos On Tuesday 12 November 2019, I had the absolute pleasure of being a guest on the Expresso Morning Show on SABC3. This time our topic was teaching children to share. I almost cancelled 12 November’s appearance due to the flu, but found […]
Last week Wednesday 7 August 2019, I had the absolute pleasure of being a guest on the Expresso Morning show on SABC3. We discussed Sibling Rivalry. There were many issues raised, questions asked and answered. Some examples include:
- Is it an unrealistic fantasy desire have siblings to always get along?
- How can a parents’ behaviour contribute to, and perpetuate sibling fights?
- How can parents decrease fights between siblings, and increase harmony in the household?
- Can parents unknowingly be the cause of sibling fighting sometimes?
- How can ongoing sibling fighting negatively impact family relationships?
Take a look to see what the answers were. Leave a comment if you enjoyed it or any questions if you have any.
Parenting Advice: Decreasing Sibling Fights in The Household https://youtu.be/Cvd9nRj_2zQ
LOVE YOUR CHILDREN INDIVIDUALISTICALLY, NOT COMPARATIVELY! – Shenaaz Moos
Conscious Parenting provides an alternative to smacking your child, which has now become illegal in South Africa. Judge Raylene Keightley passed the ground-breaking ruling in the Gauteng High Court in October 2017 encouraging parents to find alternative methods of discipline.
Conscious Parenting advocates gentle positive discipline that sees the child as an individual. According to Dr Shefali Tsabary (Author of The Conscious Parent) A Conscious Parent is not one who seeks to fix her child or seek to produce the perfect child. This is not about Perfection! A conscious parent understands that this journey has been undertaken and this child had been called forth to raise the parent itself, to show the parent where the parent has yet to grow. This is why we call our children into our lives. It may seem a daunting task to confront the self, but this is the portal to your authenticity. (more…)
What does growth look like? When you are holding out for something phenomenal and amazing to happen, you often miss the small but meaningful changes that have occurred. So it is your perspective that determines what you will define as growth.
You are probably wandering what potholes and cracked phone screens have in common. They are both imperfections and are very much in your face. Once I noticed one pothole in my road, the others just became visible and every time I left my house they taunted me. I was forced to endure a cracked phone for a month and was a true test of my evolution as a recovering perfectionist.
The general definition by WIKI is “Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unobtainable goals, and measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishment. Pressuring oneself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets the person up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards.”
My 15 year old daughter is in grade 9 and we attended her Subject Choice meeting the other night. As I looked around the hall, parents were holding their breathe in fear and children were anxiously scanning the room for comfort. All the parents were listening attentively to the guest speaker about the different academic streams open to specific subject choices.
The answer is No, it’s never too late to say sorry. I know it is a Justin Bieber song but also the title of this blog post which I felt was an important one to share. I wish I had the knowledge I have now when my teens were younger, but unfortunately ten years ago I didn’t and as a result made many, many and many more mistakes as a parent. When we parent from an unconscious place, we have no road map providing us with guidance to ensure that we don’t harm, scar and damage our children in our effort to raise balanced healthy adults one day. I can only forgive myself and try to do better with the knowledge I have in the present moment.
Every time I read a new book, its like forming a relationship and connection with an old friend. I internalise the words and make it part of my life. I share the highs and lows of the content and ride the rollercoaster of emotions all with the end goal of changing, improving and growing as a person. No book has ever shaken me to the core to the extent of The Awakened Family by Dr Shefali. I am a huge fan and have read her earlier book, The Conscious Parent. There was something about the messages in this book that touched me in a place that I had long disconnected from and as a result old wounds opened and healing began.
I think that most of us have an unrealistic expectation or fantasy that our kids will just automatically be friends and we will all live happily ever after. Delusional LIES ….. Do you get along with all your siblings now as a grownup? Did you get along with them in childhood? If you are like me from a normal family – then your answer is NO!!!!
I think my struggle to accept my kids fighting may stem from my own unresolved sibling issues, I will get into that in another post. This post is inspired by the latest book I am reading by Dr Laura Markham called Calm Parents, Happy Siblings, I have had it for months but didn’t get around to reading it.
When I got to page 9, I made my first meme. See below and felt it needed to be a post.