The Five Love Languages Workshop Presented by Shenaaz Moos, Registered Counsellor We all lead busy lives and want more time, fun, love and laughter in it. Unfortunately these require effort and most of us want a quick fix, instant connection and happiness. There are some cheats and short cuts and I am excited and eager […]
Last week Wednesday 7 August 2019, I had the absolute pleasure of being a guest on the Expresso Morning show on SABC3. We discussed Sibling Rivalry. There were many issues raised, questions asked and answered. Some examples include:
- Is it an unrealistic fantasy desire have siblings to always get along?
- How can a parents’ behaviour contribute to, and perpetuate sibling fights?
- How can parents decrease fights between siblings, and increase harmony in the household?
- Can parents unknowingly be the cause of sibling fighting sometimes?
- How can ongoing sibling fighting negatively impact family relationships?
Take a look to see what the answers were. Leave a comment if you enjoyed it or any questions if you have any.
Parenting Advice: Decreasing Sibling Fights in The Household https://youtu.be/Cvd9nRj_2zQ
LOVE YOUR CHILDREN INDIVIDUALISTICALLY, NOT COMPARATIVELY! – Shenaaz Moos
WHY DO I NEED SELF CARE?
By Shenaaz Moos
Last month, I went to the hairdresser the day before Eid as a treat to myself. As I was paying, I said to the receptionist that I will be adding this to my self-care routine and she looked puzzled and asked “What’s that?” So I proceeded to explain that : Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. (Psychcentral) She inspired me to post the self care principles listed below as I realised so many people out there may not what self-care is and why they need it .
Conscious Parenting provides an alternative to smacking your child, which has now become illegal in South Africa. Judge Raylene Keightley passed the ground-breaking ruling in the Gauteng High Court in October 2017 encouraging parents to find alternative methods of discipline.
Conscious Parenting advocates gentle positive discipline that sees the child as an individual. According to Dr Shefali Tsabary (Author of The Conscious Parent) A Conscious Parent is not one who seeks to fix her child or seek to produce the perfect child. This is not about Perfection! A conscious parent understands that this journey has been undertaken and this child had been called forth to raise the parent itself, to show the parent where the parent has yet to grow. This is why we call our children into our lives. It may seem a daunting task to confront the self, but this is the portal to your authenticity. (more…)
What does growth look like? When you are holding out for something phenomenal and amazing to happen, you often miss the small but meaningful changes that have occurred. So it is your perspective that determines what you will define as growth.
You are probably wandering what potholes and cracked phone screens have in common. They are both imperfections and are very much in your face. Once I noticed one pothole in my road, the others just became visible and every time I left my house they taunted me. I was forced to endure a cracked phone for a month and was a true test of my evolution as a recovering perfectionist.
The general definition by WIKI is “Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unobtainable goals, and measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishment. Pressuring oneself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets the person up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards.”
To celebrate my 21st wedding Anniversary, I decided to write a blog and share some insights I have gained over two decades as a wife. This year, I started to see couples in my practice for marriage counselling and the past few months have really made me value and appreciate my own marriage even more.
The answer is No, it’s never too late to say sorry. I know it is a Justin Bieber song but also the title of this blog post which I felt was an important one to share. I wish I had the knowledge I have now when my teens were younger, but unfortunately ten years ago I didn’t and as a result made many, many and many more mistakes as a parent. When we parent from an unconscious place, we have no road map providing us with guidance to ensure that we don’t harm, scar and damage our children in our effort to raise balanced healthy adults one day. I can only forgive myself and try to do better with the knowledge I have in the present moment.
When I was faced with many clients struggling with marital issues I knew that I needed to read or listen to this book on my reading list. Not only did I gain knowledge for them but learnt a thing or two to help me in my own marriage. As young married people we enter into a marriage from a place of blissful ignorance thinking love will get us through any challenge. Until a life stressor like job loss, illness, death of a family member or child shakes our foundation to the core.
Gary Chapman writes a relatable and humorous book with all his own real life marriage mistakes that just makes the content concrete. There are twelve chapters and each enlightened me further into the many reasons why marriages can fail and crumble very early on in the union. I will list them all and give you my the lesson I took away.
My youngest son (9) came home from school distressed twice last week, but wouldn’t say why. When he was ready to share the reason I almost went into overprotective mommy mode. His teacher had negatively commented on his handwriting once and used his ‘cursive’ as the bad example the second time. His anxious temperament needs critical feedback to be given in a nurturing, positive way and in private. He told me he cried in the bathroom and had been clenching his fists in class in anger.