5 SENSES OF AUTHENTICITY by Shenaaz Moos
I finally had a chance on Saturday 15 December 2018 to do the talk on Authenticity that I had been wanting to do for the longest while. The strangest thing was that when I first started promoting it, there was a luke warm response. When I said I was thinking about doing another workshop on “How not to give a F**k” everyone went crazy. What people didn’t realise was that this is exactly what Authenticity was. Choosing to live your life the way you want and in a way that serves your desires, while being true to who you are.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we actually are.”
—Brené Brown
It is a buzz word at the moment and everyone wants to be authentic, they say that they are but have not done the cleaning up of their inner landscape to get there. Their mind and thoughts are still plagued with what other people think of them, they are still trapped in the never ending cycle of people pleasing. They feel empty, unhappy, exhausted and miserable; this is not what authentic living feels like.
On my journey to Authenticity these are the senses I discovered are vital:
- A Sense Of Self
- A Sense Of Worth & Value
- A Sense Of Purpose
- A Sense Of Boundaries
- A Sense Of Humour
1. A Sense Of Self is knowing, liking, accepting and loving yourself.
This Sense is where it all begins, taking the journey inward to get to you know yourself again. You may be living a life that’s a lie, wearing your hair in a way that your husband likes, wearing clothes that your mother said flatter you and so much more. Deep down you hate both but can’t remember what you actually like. Why? From the earliest age of compression in your childhood, you wanted to please those around you for love and acceptance. So you chose things that made their face light up even if it was not what you liked or wanted. You have been doing it for so long that you forgot your own likes and dislikes. When you reconnect with your inner child, you will remember the colours, food and places that filled your heart and soul with joy. Go here, stay here, live here! A Sense Of Worth & Value is valuing yourself, your time, your energy, your love and knowing what you are deserving of.
2. A Sense Of Worth & Value is valuing yourself, your time, your energy, your love and knowing what you are deserving of.
The second Sense can only exist once your sense of self is in place. Why? In order to value yourself, you have to like yourself. To you know your worth as a person means you see yourself as someone who matters, who has something unique to offer the world. Your money, appearance and education do not determine your worth, only you do! You only think it does because of the superficial world we live in and the conditioning of society reinforces this everyday by putting physical beauty on a pedestal. Social media also plays a role by people sharing all that they achieve (some exaggerated) making you feel inadequate when you compare yourself. STOP! You are enough as you are! Anything you want to change or add must be for the right reasons, that it’s for your own growth, your own spiritual alignment. Never in comparison and never in competition, only for completion!
3. A Sense Of Purpose is living a life that has meaning and, living your passion while making a difference.
You can have all the money in the world, or have the highest paid job and still feel EMPTY. Why? You are living a life that may have no meaning, no purpose but to make money for money’s sake. This will lead you to buy more things you don’t need and desire more things in a never ending effort to fill the empty void inside yourself. Step off this ‘hamster wheel’ and choose a different path. Reconnecting with your true self aligns you with your purpose. Have the courage to follow where it leads and you will be blessed with absolute joy and abundance. Not of the financial kind, but the spiritual one! What bliss!
4. A Sense Of Boundaries is knowing what you will tolerate from others in terms of respect and keeping negative destructive people at a distance.
If you could draw a magical circle around yourself and include all your favourite things and people, would you? This is a boundary and it is absolutely necessary and usually absent in many people’s lives. Outside the circle are the people and things that drain your energy, exploit you and abuse your emotional support. I know it’s not this simplistic, but I want you all to understand the purpose of a boundary. Others won’t automatically respect your rights, give you credit or keep their negativity away. You have to demand it, for your sanity! Authentic people do this without guilt or remorse as we know what we lose when we allow our boundaries to drop. Start drawing your circle today!
5. A Sense Of Humour is what makes life fun, reminding you not to take yourself, others and life too seriously and most importantly to laugh often.
Too many people take themselves so seriously that they get stuck when they make a mistake, forget something, don’t win at something or are not the best. When was the last time you truly laughed with abandon? When was the last time you laughed at yourself? If you answered : never, too long ago or I can’t remember; then you have been missing out on the joy that life has to offer. Having this Sense helps you in ways you cannot imagine and so many people think a sense of humour is childish or for children. This is so far from the truth, children are in their authentic state and that is why it’s so natural and easy for them. We should watch them and learn how to have fun and live in the moment! Fear, stress and anxiety are often managed better or beaten with a good sense of humour. Go and find yours!
I hope when they left the workshop they gained more knowledge on how to stop people pleasing and not give a f**k! Here are some problems with people pleasing:
1) It’s impossible to please everyone.
2) You lose your sense of self .
3) Your worth is tied to pleasing others & fear rejection if you stop.
4) You say “Yes” when you really mean “No” & feel pressured by others.
5) Your needs come last, because you put everyone’s needs first.
6) You become resentful when your needs aren’t met, you deserve attention, love and respect too.
There are many ways to become authentic, I have shared my journey there with you. It does not mean it’s the path you will take to get there and no one can say when you will arrive. To be honest, there is no arriving, it has no time line but is a continuous journey. I cannot begin to describe the gifts you will receive along the way there, all I can say is that life will never be boring or monotonous. Living authentically frees up your day to have energy to do what you love with those you love. Your days are filled with joy and gratitude and you radiate light, love and positivity. This makes life bright, colourful and fun!
