by Shenaaz Moos

As a counsellor I see many clients who are lost, adrift in life and simply just living day to day in a monotonous loop. Joy, fun laughter and love seems to have left their daily landscape. They are so unhappy despite all the external successes they have achieved; the  wonderful spouse, the new car, the great job, the stunning house, but they still feel empty. WHY? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. Here is some of the steps to guide you to understand and make the changes needed to find your way back.



1. You cannot find your True Self if you do not KNOW yourself

In a world of people pleasing, we change our core identity as children to receive love and acceptance from our parents and other significant adults in our lives. As a result of continuous adjustments to maintain relationships with family, spouses, colleagues we are left with an unrecognisable shell. This disconnect from ourselves results in deep emptiness, emotional pain and so much more…

2. You cannot find your True Self if you do not LIKE yourself

When we were children and expressed interest or pleasure in something and our parents/adults judged and shamed us, we create a false self. We learn to reject things we like and embrace things we dislike to keep others happy. Our happiness is not prioritized and as a result we begin to detest the person we have become.

3. You cannot find your True Self by looking OUTSIDE yourself

No one else holds the answers or key your joy, your peace, your self acceptance – only YOU! So learn to sit in silence, by stilling the mind through meditation. When you do this all the outside voices, influences, contaminators all fall away. You will then reconnect with yourself, identify what your unmet needs are and begin to heal.

4. You cannot find your True Self through other EYES of other people

We seek validation of our worth through the way others reflect who we are back to us. If most of us are disconnected from ourselves then this person is as lost as you and will not see your True Inner Divinity. You are gifted with brilliance to be a master in your own life, it’s only when someone else says you are not that you forget it too!

5. When you embrace your True Self, WHOLENESS is achieved!

When you know who you are, like who you are, go inward and see your Inner Divinity, all your fragmented parts connect and Wholeness is achieved. No one and nothing can sever the connection with your authentic soul. You now vibrate with a high frequency and will live a life that is fuller, brighter and filled with abundance and gratitude.

As you step closer to your True Self, be prepared for some complaints and resistance from those around you. The changes you made over the years were to receive love and acceptance of others. Now that you have made changes that reconnect your authenticity, you love and accept yourself. This is more powerful as no one can take it away. This makes them feel threatened, it is now their issue to deal with not yours, no guilt allowed. Your True Self is who you were always meant to be, WHOLE!

Comments 2

  1. slm dearest Shenaaz, what if you cannot comprehend what you are saying or it feels like you never knew yourself, what if your past was not pleasant, how do you forget, how do you as an adult understand why you did what you did as a child, is it possible that no one is to blame but me? how do I know what I like ? why doe sit make me sad to see these words and hear you yet not understand you? is there something wrong with me? i know one thing for sure , i am angry but why at what, how do i change me? how do i discover who i am? how do i put in practice what you are saying if i don’t understand it?

    1. Post

      Wslm Naaílaah, it all begins with a deep desire to understand and accept yourself and then make the inward journey to heal yourself, your inner child pain and meet your own unmet needs. You came to the workshop in August 2017 and now its a year later. Are you in the exact same place? Individual therapy is the only way to begin this journey,I am repeating these words that I said last year. May Allah SWT lighten your journey In Sha Allah.

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