THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE
By Shenaaz Moos
Why do we suffer? We refuse to accept and we refuse to submit. After attending a two day workshop called ‘Discover Yourself’ by Dr Sadath Khan this weekend, I understood why people (myself included) find certain people and situations challenging. You must aways come from a point of ‘how can I change, grow’ in order to improve the relationships around you. Sometimes you are kind, compassionate and caring to everyone except yourself or to someone who triggers you. Once you figure out that you are the trigger and not the person, you will be free.
What do I mean? The judgments, opinions and expectations of others is what triggers you, not any one thing or person on the outside. When you come from a place of nothing, you receive everything. The journey to the true self requires acceptance. Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognising a process or condition without attempting to change it or protest it. Here are some ways to achieve this.
1. ACCEPTING YOURSELF IS LOVING YOURSELF!
As I was making one of my YouTube videos, this phrase, “Accepting Yourself is Loving Yourself!” resonated and stayed in my mind on repeat. Why is it so hard to do this? When did you stop accepting yourself? You have been doing it so long, it became the norm. Since your childhood your True Self wasn’t accepted, you were either too loud, too shy, too talkative, too busy, too fat, not smart enough, not pretty enough and the list goes on. Now as an adult, you find fault with everything about yourself because this is the only pattern you know. It’s time to break the cycle of pain and non-acceptance! You are not tied to this other person’s limitations on you – break free of the chains that bind you to them. Where? In your mind and thoughts about yourself first! Once you do this, loving yourself becomes possible. This makes loving others (as they are) much easier!
2. ACCEPTING YOURSELF AS-IS OPENS THE DOOR TO ACCEPT OTHERS AS THEY ARE.!
In her book, The Awakened Family Dr Shefali says : Make Peace With the “AS-IS”
- Accept your child and yourself for who you both are in this moment.
- Let go of expecting your child and yourself to match your fantasy of who you both should be.
- Make peace with your child’s strengths and limitations, just as you need to do with yourself.
Everything starts with YOU, so in order to practice acceptance of others, you need to learn self acceptance. Some of us think we do, but to fully practice this, you need to have done the inner work to heal your inner child. When you go inward, you give yourself all the love and acceptance you needed as a child. Now you can function from a place of awareness and not Ego! You become aware when you are defaulting to judgement, opinion and expectation mode. This is crucial in elevating your level of consciousness.
3. ACCEPTING YOUR FLAWS OPENS THE DOOR TO ACCEPT OTHER PEOPLE’S IMPERFECTIONS!
Perfectionism and authenticity cannot happily coexist. Authenticity requires you to honestly look at yourself, your flaws, owning and accepting them. Denying or ignoring your imperfections prevents growth to wholeness. Healthy relationships require that you accept others as they are, imperfections and all. You cannot do this if you did not do this for yourself first. I know I sound like a stuck record saying it starts with you, but it’s the only way!
4. ACCEPTING YOUR MISTAKES MAKES IT EASIER TO FORGIVE OTHERS WHEN THEY MESS UP!
“To err is human, to forgive divine.“ Alexander Pope said this and it’s so true in the sense that we all makes mistakes and it is part of the human experience. Expecting yourself not to mess up, is denying that human aspect of yourself. If your mind and heart opens to this, you will become more accepting of others when they make a mistake. The trick is to learn the lesson it brings and use it for your GROWTH! If you deny it, you will not forgive yourself and not move forward. This will also prevent you from doing it with others. Unforgiving hearts are closed to connecting, with themselves and others!
Acceptance requires detaching which is letting go in big and small ways moment to moment, which prevents you from being a slave to your Ego as it feeds on being right, having power and passing judgment. When you do this you will be free to see and live your purpose, make a difference as a giver and serve humanity, this is your best life steeped in spiritual success.